For years, any time my father saw someone crack open a Miller High Life, he felt obliged to tell one of his preferred stories about the stupid tour guide at the brewery who, to this day, irritates him greatly. Here’s how my father tells it:
“This kid was showing us around the Miller brewery and pointed up at six-pointed star on the building. He asked us if we knew what the star represented and I answered, ‘The Star of David.’ The stupid tour guide told me that I was wrong; that it represented the six ingredients. The founder of Miller left Germany. He was probably a Jew in hiding. That kid: what an idiot.” (My father probably meant anti-Semite.) Read more
I’m not a big fan of driving. So I wasn’t thrilled when I discovered that I needed a rental car to get around Germany.
As a commuter in New York, I notice a common trend: every sixth driver is a moron, and every fifth driver an asshole. (I’d say I’m probably underreporting and also not taking into account douche bags.) In my daily data collection, the morons and assholes typically drive German cars: Audis, BMWs, and Mercedeses (that doesn’t sound right). (The douche bag will usually drive a pick-up truck, which are no longer purpose-driven, or a Lexus.)
The thought of polo always rubbed me wrong. I used to play water polo at the University of Maryland. And while I’ve grown used to smiling off clever people who like to ask me where I parked my ark, I always found myself straining when that same sort of quick wit led that same sort of person to ask me where I parked my horse. Read more
I like to write about driving in other countries because quite often I’m curious or intrigued by the things that I see on the road. Read more
I entered Korea’s Boryeong Mud Festival late; all of the youth were happily slipping and sliding and just caked in the stuff. My t-shirt was still white. Not a good look for anyone at a mud festival, but especially not for me–an old man in his mid-thirties–surrounded by kids nearly half my age. These kids needed the mud because they were stupid; I needed the mud just to fit in. Read more